Kirby serves as docent at Gamble Plantation | TheWakullaNews.com

I was so honored to serve at the Gamble Plantation this year.  I can't wait to do it again.

Kirby serves as docent at Gamble Plantation | TheWakullaNews.com

Going After What You Want

Our first date in Salt Lake City

It is said the journey of 1,000 miles begins with the first step.  My first step was to make a list, my bucket list.  At the time, it was very important to me to see several sites and participate in certain events in Salt Lake City, Utah.  My divorce had been final for quite some time. I felt ready to use my new American Express and earn travel miles.  In February, I asked for a few day's leave in April, a time I would NEVER have otherwise done.  I booked a flight and a room for four nights in downtown Salt Lake City.  I arranged for TWO tickets to a desired event in Salt Lake City happening at that time.  


Now you may be thinking I went man fishing then.  Not exactly.  I admit I had dipped a pinkie toe into online dating.  In perspective, online dating in 2006-07 was not as sophisticated as it is now.  There was no Skype.  There was barely live chatting.  There was more dialup than DSL.  I had already experienced a few "interesting" hits on my few online sites.  The details of those experiences are more worthy of a separate post someday.  Sufficeth to say, I had evolved into going beyond what I called my "radius dating", i.e., my 350 mile limit and just wanted to make friends with a man over 6'4" and who was "ONLINE NOW."  I had grown tired of the waiting game of profile searching, sending an email, and waiting days or weeks for any type of reply.  Plus, I had grown a little braver.


One evening, in my taller than 6'4" ONLINE NOW search on a certain dating site, I found ONE person who fit this description.  Oh my goodness though.  He was in NORTH POLE, ALASKA.  My mind figured, "Oh well, at least I'll make a friend and learn a little bit about Alaska."  So I pinged in to ask, "How are things in the North Pole tonight?"  Nervously fretting over dialup issues, we managed to carry on a pretty nice online chat for the better part of an hour.  I found out later Paul had JUST posted his profile on the site and literally staring at the screen wondering, "Now what."  


Within a few daily chats, Paul asked for my phone number where the communication almost completely transferred from that point forward.  Our first conversation was three days after I had uvulaplasty and could barely screech.  He didn't mind.  One night, I randomly invited him to meet me in Salt Lake City in October to attend a conference.  His reply was a quick, "Sure, why not.  It could be fun."  What I did not realize was that Alaska is a mere 2,200 miles from Salt Lake City, one way.  I think people underestimate the map scale when looking at that part of the world.


I must remind, I had already booked a flight and arranged my own two tickets to an event there before actually meeting Paul online.  


The day of my departure was one of the most exciting days of my entire life.  Once on the long flight from Dallas to Salt Lake City, I sat as close to the exit door as I could.  I was the first person at the door to disembark.  My excitement must have been obvious because the flight attendant told me, "I wish I had time to follow you to where you're going."


Paul had planned our first meet.  He had directed me beforehand to be looking for him at the bottom of the escalator going down to baggage claim.  He was going to video tape me coming down the escalator and had brought flowers for me.  After a quick refresh at the restroom, I floated to the destination spot.  Wearing my brown swirly skirt with matching costume jewelry, 3" platform shoes, and a fresh spritz of White Diamonds, I was fully prepared to meet this intriguing man of my dreams.  That is another story - the dream part.


There was a slight corner leading to the escalator.  As I rounded it and looked down, no Paul.  I had called him as we landed but it went directly into his voice mail.  I did not consider at the time I could be stood up.  I proceeded forward to Baggage Claim 6 and sat down.  I tried his phone again - voice mail.  My mind wavered a little and I resolved I could rent my own car, had my own room, and I'd proceed with my trip and plans no matter what.  I had friends in SLC and would be just fine.  I wouldn't yet allow myself to feel any pangs of the looming disappointment.


Suddenly, my phone rang with it's distinctive Paul ringtone.  He asked, "Where are you?"  I relayed all the particulars of my escalator ride and where I was sitting.  He swore he was at the bottom of the escalator.  Now, I'd surely see a 6'6" man waiting for me.  Then, he noticed - there were TWO escalators.  He had been at a the bottom of the SECOND escalator which was nearly a right angle beyond the one I had descended.  Apparently, the airport had undergone renovations since his last time there.  He was disappointed because he was all ready with camera and long stem red rose in hand.  


I stood up, still talking to Paul on my flip cell phone, looking up naturally.   Suddenly, I saw this tall bobbing head, wearing a black cowboy hat.  I then saw the wide and sweet smile upon his face.  I do believe I was glowing at that point.  He gave me a big hug and then stood by me at the baggage turnstile grinning like a little boy.  Then, suddenly, he said, "I can't help it!" and reached out and hugged and squeezed me again.


From there, we departed the airport in his big red super duty Ford pickup truck which he had immaculately prepared.  He belted me in every time and sealed his chivalry each time with a kiss.  He escorted me to my hotel and waited for me to freshen up, waiting at the bottom of the stairs of the hotel to catch up on his intended escalator video.  I felt  a young 45 and very celebrated.


In spite of the time change and my long day, we spent hours and hours cruising town and driving up to Park City to see the snow.  Naturally, we had to get out of the truck in the 2AM moonlight to throw snowballs at each other.  Exhausted, we returned to his room where we danced to his IPod tunes followed by him playing his guitar for me until the anchors in my eyes closed.  I believe the last tune I recall was Nights in White Satin by the Moody Blues.  The next morning, we had breakfast in Clearfield in a one-sided booth.  The waitress must have noticed something amazing because she commented how we two were glowing and teasingly threatened to separate us.


The weekend continued with lots of sightseeing, high kicks through the streets, and general playfulness.  It was honest as it could be with Paul even falling asleep in the theater - something he can often do when sitting still too long.  He was my good luck charm as I landed my first 100+ bowling score.  It may surprise many but it was also a chaste weekend.  While we were full of fire for each other, we bridled our passions hoping to make this relationship something special.


The weekend ended too soon with great woe and tears of separating so very far apart.  The airport departure was quick given the new security measures there.  There were no concrete plans for the next time.  It was one of the most devastating things I had ever experienced.  I probably had found the love of my life and we were going to be 4,279 miles apart again.  I could hardly stand it.  I cried the entire flight home.  Thankfully, I had a row to myself.  The flight attendant was very kind and encouraged me to hang in there.


Our story continued with many chapters of ups and downs.  There was never a doubt with the two of us.  It was always external challenges, many other chapters to write, in which we managed to survive.  We sealed our commitment on 07/07/07 at 7:00 P.M.  The journey of more than 1,000 miles was all worth it.  I have truly found my best friend, my soul mate, my passionate lover, and companion for life.  He makes my heart soar and can make me laugh every day no matter what.  His hugs are genuine and his eyes can look into my very soul.  Sometimes the crack in his voice can melt me to my core.  He's wild yet soft and tender.  Never once has he criticized me or made me feel less than celebrated.  He's the whole package for me.  I am so grateful that I sought to go after the things I wanted - that I made a bucket list and dared to travel for the first time alone across country.  It was so worth it.


No matter how great or small, I truly believe one must set out for the things they want.  One most go out to meet his/her ship.  It may just be in the harbor, it might be out a little further.  The ride may be bumpy.  It usually is.  But it's there.  

Our wedding day - 07/07/07 at 7:00 P.M.

My Mom

(for Mothers Day 2012)

Through the years,

She has been there when I needed her most,

Always wishing me the best.

Through her eyes,

She sees with her one life’s compass,

Often steering me in that direction.

Through my pain,

I seek to follow my own path,

While considering her guidance.

Always knowing she loves me.

Through my heart,

I see a woman aging and wishing we had more time,

Visiting places together, remembering, and making new memories.

Through my love,

I see a hopeful future where we can celebrate our lives together,

Laughing and loving.

Always willing to try.

Stecoah Valley, North Carolina

A Little Piece of Home

I am soon due to return with my youngest born and spend a week in my beloved Smoky Mountains where I will recenter, share, connect, and write.  It is my Thoreau spot.

"I went to the woods (mountains) because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion. ”

— Henry David Thoreau, Walden, "Where I Lived, and What I Lived For"

I so agree with Thoreau's thoughts and feelings.  To live a half life is not to have lived.  To live "sturdily" is to know you know you did the right thing.  I am ready to return.

I Wanna                                 

The world is full of  I wannas.
                                I wanna be rich.
                                I wanna lose weight.
                                I wanna go for a walk.


Then life happens. The economy, changes in the work force, stress, people coming, people going. The road winds and changes in real time and often before we can even get home. The whole idea that the universe is speeding up intrigues me. What happened in a week in my childhood can happen in moments today.  I believe this is true.  The sequence of:  Write a letter, go the the post office to buy a stamp, mail it, wait for a reply, rip it open with wide eyes of anticipation - is nearly a thing of the past. Instead, I can apply for donations, grants, jobs, credit cards, admission, register, buy movie tickets, all online. My human interface resorts to texting, Skyping, and talking to my husband's back while he plays chess or Facebooks. Yes, Facebook is also a verb.



The I wannas turn into the "I didn't" or "I should haves" too often. Having ignored that prompt to call a friend once was a too-late event as she died the next week of cancer. Regrets - yes. Lessons learned -yes. Living beyond my mistakes - as much as I can.





I challenge the world to ponder the "I wannas" in their life. Today is sliding down the number scale. The neutral zero does not exist. You are either living in the positive or negative part. It has been said our reality is a manifestation of our intentions and follow throughs. I believe this is true.




So today, I wanna fill my evening with:






                  a nature walk through my neighborhood


                  a phone call to my dear cousin's widow


                  a few moments of meditation in my garden


                  face time, not Facebook, with my husband

Junior Samples from Hee Haw doing
his famous car comercial.
"Just call BR549!"

               buy my f$rst $ilver bull$on bar       


                  dress up like Minnie Pearl and teach my son that BR549 was is phone number and about how Rindercella Slopped Her Drippers.  (video)


                  sing a few bars of "Dirty Lil"

and




laugh and ponder upon tomorrow's "I willas."