My Mom

(for Mothers Day 2012)

Through the years,

She has been there when I needed her most,

Always wishing me the best.

Through her eyes,

She sees with her one life’s compass,

Often steering me in that direction.

Through my pain,

I seek to follow my own path,

While considering her guidance.

Always knowing she loves me.

Through my heart,

I see a woman aging and wishing we had more time,

Visiting places together, remembering, and making new memories.

Through my love,

I see a hopeful future where we can celebrate our lives together,

Laughing and loving.

Always willing to try.

Stecoah Valley, North Carolina

A Little Piece of Home

I am soon due to return with my youngest born and spend a week in my beloved Smoky Mountains where I will recenter, share, connect, and write.  It is my Thoreau spot.

"I went to the woods (mountains) because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion. ”

— Henry David Thoreau, Walden, "Where I Lived, and What I Lived For"

I so agree with Thoreau's thoughts and feelings.  To live a half life is not to have lived.  To live "sturdily" is to know you know you did the right thing.  I am ready to return.

I Wanna                                 

The world is full of  I wannas.
                                I wanna be rich.
                                I wanna lose weight.
                                I wanna go for a walk.


Then life happens. The economy, changes in the work force, stress, people coming, people going. The road winds and changes in real time and often before we can even get home. The whole idea that the universe is speeding up intrigues me. What happened in a week in my childhood can happen in moments today.  I believe this is true.  The sequence of:  Write a letter, go the the post office to buy a stamp, mail it, wait for a reply, rip it open with wide eyes of anticipation - is nearly a thing of the past. Instead, I can apply for donations, grants, jobs, credit cards, admission, register, buy movie tickets, all online. My human interface resorts to texting, Skyping, and talking to my husband's back while he plays chess or Facebooks. Yes, Facebook is also a verb.



The I wannas turn into the "I didn't" or "I should haves" too often. Having ignored that prompt to call a friend once was a too-late event as she died the next week of cancer. Regrets - yes. Lessons learned -yes. Living beyond my mistakes - as much as I can.





I challenge the world to ponder the "I wannas" in their life. Today is sliding down the number scale. The neutral zero does not exist. You are either living in the positive or negative part. It has been said our reality is a manifestation of our intentions and follow throughs. I believe this is true.




So today, I wanna fill my evening with:






                  a nature walk through my neighborhood


                  a phone call to my dear cousin's widow


                  a few moments of meditation in my garden


                  face time, not Facebook, with my husband

Junior Samples from Hee Haw doing
his famous car comercial.
"Just call BR549!"

               buy my f$rst $ilver bull$on bar       


                  dress up like Minnie Pearl and teach my son that BR549 was is phone number and about how Rindercella Slopped Her Drippers.  (video)


                  sing a few bars of "Dirty Lil"

and




laugh and ponder upon tomorrow's "I willas."